Question by Phil: Sex Addiction – My Dilemma?
[rewrite]I am 25 years old. I am married now for almost 2 years ( 28 March 2011 ). I have a problem. the problem is that I cannot seem to stop myself from looking at prostitutes online despite knowing that it could cost me my marriage. At first it was novelty, looking with no intent, but as home life did a 180 and things at work got crazy; I found myself unable to be satisfied, and even though I could seek out single females where I could probably get what I need for free all I needed and wanted was release. All I was thinking about was getting what i need slapping money on the table and that’s that because the only relationship I want is with my wife, however troubled it may be right now. Now to be clear I have not had sex with a prostitute, but I have made contact with them with the intent, though for whatever fortune it may be my wife caught me in those attempts. I find that I must pleasure myself 3 or more times a day to not feel restless and anxious, while my wife says she rarely turns me down and that all I need do is come to her; the atmosphere in my home and between my wife and I is such that I don’t feel I can approach her most times. Now more than ever before it is even more difficult because we found out that she is pregnant, and while this is supposed to be a happy time where we work out problems and prepare for the next stage in our lives, this problem has overshadowed it so completely that if I am being held after work I have to prove my whereabouts to my wife so that she does not get suspicious of me and start jumping to conclusions; her imagination is her worst enemy though it was my own actions that brought about this outcome. I am a soldier in the US Army and I have tried seeking some help through the service, however training requirements in preparation for upcoming deployment has limited getting help. Did I mention that my first child will be born 3 months after i am gone? The bottom line is that I love my wife despite the hurtful actions that I can only explain as compulsory actions and I don’t want to endanger her or the baby by causing undue stress nor end up using a prostitute and wrecking any chance I have of building a family. I need help but I don’t know what to do I have locked my router to prevent me from getting on backpage. com where I could browse through prostitutes like amazon, but I found a way to circumvent that by using my cell phones web browser and disabling the wi-fi on my phone to use the carrier connection. I stay in my house in my office most of the time so that I am not tempted into going to an AMP, or picking up a streetwalker. I feel so trapped like i can’t do anything and at anytime I could lose my wife because of compulsory action that I have no reason to make. What should I do?
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