Question by : how to deal with Russian ‘girlfriend’ already in the US. She seems nice but feel I’m being led astray?
my history with Russian women goes: met a married Russian woman who came on to me, in order to get me ‘hooked’ on her while her husband was away for months in drug rehab. I fell in love, thought she was trying to get away from him, all to find out she lied about almost everything and the day he got out of rehab was the day she threw me away like yesterday’s trash.
2 years later, I start doing yoga and trying to clear my mind/get rid of the baggage I carry around. Meet another Russian (Ukrainian) woman who SEEMED to be enlightened: vegan, claims no alcohol, claims age doesn’t matter, claims she’s very open. BUT at the onset she warned me that she is ‘exploring’ whatever that means, and that she wants no commitments because she doesn’t want to hurt anybody. UNDERSTOOD.
However over time she starts sending me signals like:
> You have a nice body (I reply thank you and said so does she)
> I love long, lean men. I bet you were always skinny.
> There are the usual touches on the knee, lots of non-verbal cues
> We talk about sex A LOT.Exchange fantasies, find out what each other is open to doing, a bit about what we’ve done in the past.
> I could go on but you get the point. We talk for HOURS sometimes, & are so at ease together. She seemed like this SO ENLIGHTENED of a person while I”m on my journey of yoga, meditation, cleansing of baggage. She also was married to a RICH american 30 years older than her like the 1st russian chick, got divorced, same old story as a lot of russian women (she’s 31 & I jam 44). We talk a lot, go out to eat (we alternate paying: her idea), I took her to a sauna treatment, told her how I wanted to see FWB movie BADLY when it opened last Friday. She canceled on me by saying her ex’s family invited her to dinner. But then she freed up Saturday & Sunday to spend with me which is rare. So Sat. we talk about things, THEN during the movie Saturday night ALL of the things we talked about came up in the movie (including “it’s not who you spend Fri night with it’s you spend all day Sat with”) She REALLY believes in signs & this seemed to reinforce that we are destined for each other. However, there is a sneaking suspicion in the back of my head that these ‘magical moments’ are staged: that she actually saw the movie the only possible day BEFORE seeing it with me. The first russian chick & I had a lot of magical moments, staged & otherwise.
Anyway, she will not let me kiss her. I am DYING to because I think I can tell everything I need to know with a kiss. She lets me kiss her forehead, she knows I love her (broke down and cried telling her on Sunday after things were going south). She said she already knew: I think that this is EE women tactic: play games with the man’s head & heart and get him to love you. After I told her I loved her, she said she wasn’t ready and that I needed to wait ONE YEAR. What for even one kiss? She claims to her that kiss & sex are a connection. And that she will NOT use me for sex: if she wants to use other men for sex she’ll just call up someone on the phone & say come over & **** me (that was SO hurtful). I said I can’t wait a year. She won’t say WHY this one-year thing. Anyway, she has a list she keeps on her fridge and looks at it every day in what she wants in a man which is NOT what she started off telling me:
> He needs to have no kids or kids already 18+ (check no kids)
> He needs to be vegan, or at most not eat meat in front of her (check, I went vegan Jan 1 2011)
> He can’t be a drunk (she changes her story about the last time she had a drink so I think she wants a double standard here)
> He can’t be fat (I will never be fat and am likely in the best shape of my life)
> he can’t smoke (I hate it too)
> has to be under 45
> no bipolar disorder like her ex (no bipolar here)
> HE HAS TO BE FINANCIALLY SECURE
> I understand this last point BUT that is not how it was advertised at first. In russia she was very young and married to a rich politician who broke her heart. She ran away from russia, moved here without knowing the language, eventually married rich american. She claims all that opulence & money ruins everything. But in our conversation over the weekend, it became very clear she desires $ $ . I took her to my house for the first time, showed her my basement full of very valuable collection: first words out of her mouth “who is going to get these if you die”. Then later followed by: “you are the only person I trust to carry out my will”.
I told her Sunday about some of my ideas for patents, making money etc. I told her I could make a load of $ $ if I wanted but i have no motivation to do so. Because i want a PARTNER to help me do it, then we would share everything equally. She said OPEN YOUR EYES, your motivation is in front of you. Several times that day we talked
Sorry for the weird organization of the question; apparently some of it got truncated.    Read more...